Harry LawrieBig thanks to local author and poet Harry Lawrie, who has written this poem, which is very apt for Valentine’s Day.  He will be a regular contributor, and we’re looking forward to more of his wryly humorous poetry and prose, as well as his more informative pieces too.

If you’d like to read more by him, he has a book entitled ‘Midlife Mayhem or Misadventures of the Middle-aged Man’ available to download for Kindle or buy in paperback, via Amazon. I wonder how much of the experiences written about below are written about from personal experience…!

The French Kiss

T’ was on a hot summer day at his secondary school

That a callow young man, had felt far from cool,

Struck down by a sickness, mid –adolescence,

His libido awakened by a female’s presence.

 His cheeks flushed red, his eyes wide set,

Legs wobbling like jelly, he started to sweat.

His brain ceased to function, but it became plain

That this vision of beauty was causing him pain.

The nub of his angst was sweet Marie Langlois,

The prettiest girl in the school, by far.

Her father was french, and she loved her papa,

 Who drove her to school in his old Citroen car.

With his acne concealed under gel from a jar,

And more gel in his hair that was sticky like tar

He plucked up his courage, as never before,

When the Citroen arrived, he opened the door.

In a tremolo bass he cried “ Marie, bonjour,

I love you, I love you, in fact Je t’adore!”

Let’s meet by the bike shed, let’s make a tryst,

Through rose coloured specs all he saw was red mist.

It then slowly dawned that his ardour was blighted

As this traumatised youth learned of love unrequited.

She had stuck out her tongue, that ungrateful Miss,

And as he hurried away, she blew him a kiss!

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